Can you tell I’m trying to play catch up with my reviews? The Deepest Breath is an utterly gorgeous novel in verse by Meg Grehan, which came out in…May. I mean, at least it was this year, right?
Stevie is eleven and loves reading and sea-creatures. She lives with her mum, and she’s been best friends with Andrew since forever. Stevie’s mum teases her that someday they’ll get married, but Stevie knows that won’t ever happen. There’s a girl at school that she likes more. A lot more. Actually, she’s a bit confused about how much she likes her. It’s nothing like the way she likes Andrew. It makes her fizz inside. That’s a new feeling, one she doesn’t understand. Stevie needs to find out if girls can like girls – love them, even – but it’s hard to get any information, and she’s too shy to ask out loud about it. But maybe she can find an answer in a book. With the help of a librarian, Stevie finds stories of girls loving girls, and builds up her courage to share the truth with her mum.
I adored The Deepest Breath. I read it so long ago now, but it’s stayed with me since. I definitely remember that it made me cry a lot, in the best possible way of course. It’s written from Stevie’s point of view as she tries to understand her feelings for Chloe, a girl in school. She doesn’t know if it’s ok for girls to like other girls like that, but she doesn’t feel like there’s anyone to ask. And Stevie likes to understand things. She asks questions. She reads huge non-fiction books, full of facts, because understanding things makes life that little less scary. So not knowing what the way she’s feeling means is terrifying for Stevie. And no matter how hard she tries, she doesn’t seem to be able to ask her mum, or make her understand.
The relationship between Stevie and her mum was one of my favourite things. There’s a bit towards the end of the book when the loveliest librarian ever written thinks Stevie’s mum has rejected her because she has feelings for a girl, and I wanted to shout no! She just hasn’t understood what Stevie’s trying to tell her! Because Stevie’s mum is not the sort of person who would reject her daughter for anything. Their closeness is evident in every line, and you can see that they mean the world to each other. They get each other through the tough times and it was just lovely to see that sort of relationship on the page.
The writing in The Deepest Breath is just gorgeous too. It’s a stream of consciousness from Stevie, full of feelings and sadness and questions and, maybe above all else, love – for her mum, for her friends, for Chloe. It is really quite breathtaking how much of Stevie we get to see in a relatively short book, and I love all of her.
I really can’t recommend The Deepest Breath enough. I am so thankful for the gifted copy because I know it wouldn’t have crossed my radar otherwise, and it’s one of the best books I’ve read this year. It’s also one of the most important – I don’t think there’s enough LGBT+ fiction aimed at this age group (the younger end of YA), especially this well written. Please do yourselves a favour and pick it up. I promise you won’t regret it!
Many thanks to Nina Douglas and Little Island Press for the gifted copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.